your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
