But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
