So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize