how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
