Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
