he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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