Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
