So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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