Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
