I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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