i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
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Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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