We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
