we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
