Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
