haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
