It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
