i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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