I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
