I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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