I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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