I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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