Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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