If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
