I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
