just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
