So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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