We won't sleep together?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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