you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
