maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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