planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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