The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
