He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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