The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Enjoy the penises
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
