Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
