It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
