And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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