i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
