We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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