Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She bit a glass in half.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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