he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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