loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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