Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
