bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.