Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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  (949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo
  Replies (7) Good night (591) Bad night (982)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  what are you wearing?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just my guilt

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  (330): what are you wearing? (703): Just my guilt http://tfl.nu/ln7i
  Replies (6) Good night (2178) Bad night (679)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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  (586): I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/nhl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2658) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

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  (540): the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years. http://tfl.nu/vthp
  Replies (47) Good night (544) Bad night (7854) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.

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  (219): I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls. http://tfl.nu/l75s
  Replies (46) Good night (917) Bad night (3589) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?

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  (404): I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of? http://tfl.nu/2d4m
  Replies (21) Good night (596) Bad night (5158) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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  (914): fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no. http://tfl.nu/w88c
  Replies (17) Good night (1025) Bad night (5654) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  what you doin?

  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

  (631): View more from New York

  reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

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  (631): what you doin? (516): I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you? (631): reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life http://tfl.nu/6c83
  Replies (20) Good night (5390) Bad night (1381)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.

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  (603): Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty. http://tfl.nu/d4ib
  Replies (9) Good night (5055) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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  (570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (3543) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.

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  (801): She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever. http://tfl.nu/p8e4
  Replies (6) Good night (652) Bad night (3885) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.

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  (605): I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong. http://tfl.nu/jd9v
  Replies (6) Good night (2966) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette

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  (973): You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette http://tfl.nu/vrto
  Replies (1) Good night (1056) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.

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  (903): And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table. http://tfl.nu/a0uv
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (231) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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  (813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (88) Order T-Shirt

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