the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!