it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms