Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.