When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
