Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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