6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Everything about him screamed your future.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
