It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
