I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
