I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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