I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
