It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
