She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
