I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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