I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
