I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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