This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
