Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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