we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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