I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
