WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize