there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
