I hate all girls vehemently.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
