he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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