Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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