Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
