so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
