Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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