Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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