Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
