I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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