Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
